By popular demand, check out this audio file of my vigilante actions against Omaha Steaks!
MP3 audio file (7MB)
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Omaha Steaks Will Feel My Wrath
Well, apparently the folks at Omaha Steaks have decided to adopt the tactics of the pharmacy telemarketers. My girlfriend has been receiving calls from them, and despite asking to be taken off their list, they do nothing - and she keeps getting calls.
It's very strange - and troubling - to see a U.S. based, reputable company refuse to stop calling you. It is for that reason that I have decided to add them to my target list. They will feel my wrath next. For the next 48 hours straight, they will be locked into a three way conference with themselves.
Then, I will place my usual phone call... from the pay phone at the mall. It goes something like this...
"I need to speak to your manager. Mr. Manager? Yes, I'm the guy that's been tying up your phones non stop. So, here's the deal. To prove to you that I'm the one making the calls, they will stop. The next call you make to me, I will politely ask to be removed from your list. If you do not comply, you will feel the wrath of my dial bot army, and it will gum up your phone lines for days on end. What's that? No, I won't be giving you my specific phone number to be removed... that defeats the whole purpose. The purpose of my call is to make sure that ANYONE who asks to be removed is removed. This is your final warning. Ignore me at your own peril."
Maybe I should change the name of my blog, as this is my first non-pharmacy target. But, they've earned it. Good job, Omaha Steaks. Way to f*ck up your brand.
It's very strange - and troubling - to see a U.S. based, reputable company refuse to stop calling you. It is for that reason that I have decided to add them to my target list. They will feel my wrath next. For the next 48 hours straight, they will be locked into a three way conference with themselves.
Then, I will place my usual phone call... from the pay phone at the mall. It goes something like this...
"I need to speak to your manager. Mr. Manager? Yes, I'm the guy that's been tying up your phones non stop. So, here's the deal. To prove to you that I'm the one making the calls, they will stop. The next call you make to me, I will politely ask to be removed from your list. If you do not comply, you will feel the wrath of my dial bot army, and it will gum up your phone lines for days on end. What's that? No, I won't be giving you my specific phone number to be removed... that defeats the whole purpose. The purpose of my call is to make sure that ANYONE who asks to be removed is removed. This is your final warning. Ignore me at your own peril."
Maybe I should change the name of my blog, as this is my first non-pharmacy target. But, they've earned it. Good job, Omaha Steaks. Way to f*ck up your brand.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
I am Ming the Merciless
Today I got called from 866-204-9190 and I am auto-dialing them with no mercy. None at all. Occasionally I have pangs of guilt, but those moments are brief.
I've been trying to conference them together with a different pharmacy but that is always a difficult proposition. Sometimes they answer at different times and hang up before they ever start conversing. Worst of all, because the timing has to be right, I have to do it manually.
Which leads me to this thought: I realize that setting up an autodialer is not exactly the easiest proposition in the world, so I'm beginning to wonder if we could create more of a "flash mob" army.
What if we had 10,000 people around the country commit to dialing these pharmacies for just five minutes a day? What if we determined that the call times should be from, say, 8am to 8pm? It could mean as many as 60 or 70 calls a minute by my calculation. That alone would be enough for them to have to consider shutting off their inbound dialing.
Either that, or they're going to need some extra mental health professionals on site to deal with the call center employees. While sometimes I feel sorry for them, as they are probably in some rat-infested third world hellhole just trying to put food on their table, I think in the end it's acceptable to make their world miserable.
After all, if they traded my number around like a cheap whore, but then actually REMOVED me from their list when I asked, I would still be pissed - but I wouldn't be Ming the Merciless.
I've been trying to conference them together with a different pharmacy but that is always a difficult proposition. Sometimes they answer at different times and hang up before they ever start conversing. Worst of all, because the timing has to be right, I have to do it manually.
Which leads me to this thought: I realize that setting up an autodialer is not exactly the easiest proposition in the world, so I'm beginning to wonder if we could create more of a "flash mob" army.
What if we had 10,000 people around the country commit to dialing these pharmacies for just five minutes a day? What if we determined that the call times should be from, say, 8am to 8pm? It could mean as many as 60 or 70 calls a minute by my calculation. That alone would be enough for them to have to consider shutting off their inbound dialing.
Either that, or they're going to need some extra mental health professionals on site to deal with the call center employees. While sometimes I feel sorry for them, as they are probably in some rat-infested third world hellhole just trying to put food on their table, I think in the end it's acceptable to make their world miserable.
After all, if they traded my number around like a cheap whore, but then actually REMOVED me from their list when I asked, I would still be pissed - but I wouldn't be Ming the Merciless.
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